Letting go of people who aren’t good for me is difficult and sad. Sometimes self-doubt can creep in I wonder if perhaps I should change something about myself in order to get them to treat me differently. In fact, I’ve done that in the past. More times than I care to really admit! I have never had an experience where someone has changed because I behave differently. In fact, the changes I make within myself typically aren’t the best for me and my own self-care. When someone is toxic, we need to understand that it really and truly is on them. Therefore, letting go of people who are detrimental to your happiness takes guidance and strength.
The very first thing to keep in mind when it comes to dealing with and letting go of these kinds of people is that oftentimes, they are emotionally hurtful to you is due in part to their own personal struggles. As an empathetic person, this has been my downfall with people who aren’t good for me. I can see and sometimes feel their personal struggles. Other times, I have become like a therapist to people who cling on and contact me only to complain or get advice, under the guise of friendship. It ends up being a huge emotional drain to me and one that I don’t need to keep in my life.
You really can make the choice to eliminate people and cease contact with those that bring you down. If you are expending more energy on a person than is manageable for you emotionally, then that’s a sign something needs to change.
[ctt template=”8″ link=”4TeFl” via=”yes” ]If you are expending more energy on a person than is manageable for you emotionally, then that’s a sign something needs to change.[/ctt]
Here are the three steps that I take when Letting Go of Toxic People:
1. The first step to letting go of people who hurt you is to accept and come to terms with the notion that you are not in the wrong with this decision. Making the choice to eliminate negative people from your life who cause emotional pain and realizing you are bettering yourself by doing so, is the first and most important step to reestablish your happiness and eliminate the negativity. Accept the reality of the situation and move on. One of my favorite tools for helping myself move into acceptance is what I call a write and burn. I wrote about how to do a write and burn here!
2. Focus on your own betterment and well-being. Focusing on the emotionally hurtful people in your life will bring you down even more. Make new goals and soak in your own happiness and accomplishments. Claim ownership in your life and surround yourself with people that bring joy to your life, not those that bring sadness.
3. Lastly, change the people you gravitate towards. Choose people with like-minded ideas and goals in life. Don’t ever settle for mundane friendships or compromise your happiness and emotional well-being. If someone isn’t a good match, let them go and find a more supportive tribe.
Emotionally hurtful relationships can impact your daily life, your goals, and your future plans more than you realize. By eliminating the negativity in your life, you can focus on your well-being, successes, and future!
Need more support in letting go of people who aren’t good for you? Join my private community where we talk about this as well as all kinds of self-care, self-love and living a toxic free life. Check it out here. I look forward to getting to know you more!